I listened or was I actually hearing because the words were like music to my ears… I tried to mentally summarise but was at a loss of what to picture in my mind … It was repeated to me time and time but I just could only hear but not listen… while she were talking my mind was definitely elsewhere, thinking of a million things to do, the party dress I will be wearing that evening, the new gym routines I will be performing and the lovely night I had with my new guy hmm I can still smell his perfume… oops must come back to the present… yeh what was she saying again…um, um, um even though I kept good eye contact and uttered the many words like ok, uh, uh, hmm you must be joking, my mind was never there, I could just make up a word or two but I wasn’t in the moment with the speaker… my mind was in some distant future or the past moment.
This bad habit has caused us a lot of pain, broken friendships/relationships/marriages, caused businesses millions, lost jobs because of some major errors, ill heath , less confident kids the list is endless.
If only we took the time to listen not just listen to Actively listen by concentrating and focusing we could have actually avoided a few pitfalls saved a lot of headaches and heartaches…
Our friendships always end up in a mess because we never took the time to watch out for the non-verbal messages, people sometimes don’t mean what they say or we selectively listen to what we want to hear, if we took the time to watch out for the tone of their voices, the way the person smiled, the expression around the eyes and mouth, sloping of the shoulders we would have definitely noted if the person was bored, irritated, genuine and a whole lot more.
So sad so many things we could have avoided if only, we were less preoccupied with our own thoughts or what to say next and take the time to actually listen to the person in front of us without being biased or judgemental you never know you can learn a thing or two…
Next time you have a conversation with someone listen to them with all your heart the rewards are astounding.