For the past 2 weeks I have been discussing singlehood… Is it a disease? Is finding a significant other the main goal of life? I discussed the benefits of singlehood and also the effects of the “fear of being single…” like settling for less, putting up with bad behaviour, just to mention a few…
If you missed out on the last 2 posts you can click on the links below
Instead of seeing the status single as a disease rather, the goal ought to be to enjoy your singlehood and make the most of it. You may never be single again, or perhaps not for a very long time. This is your opportunity to focus completely on yourself. Not just on your self-development, but on doing the things you love.
So how do you enjoy this lovely season of singlehood I have listed 12 ways to embrace it
(1)Spend time getting to know the real you:
Be happy to have been given this special opportunity to get to know yourself. Look at it this way — if you are uncomfortable spending time alone with yourself, what makes you think anyone else will feel comfortable spending time with you? This can be quite a challenge to someone that has continuously filled up their lives with someone else only to discover that they really don’t know or like themselves at all. Having a relationship with yourself is exactly like having a relationship with someone else. You have to be supportive, caring, understanding, and yes, you have to learn to listen and communicate with yourself and your inner guidance. Sometimes the only way to get you to listen to yourself is to force this “time alone” upon you.
(2)Reflection should be the order of the day:
Spend time each day reflecting on your choices and yourself. Are you happy with what you did today? Is there room for improvement? Don’t criticize too harshly, but remember to take the time to think about yourself and your life. It’s important to let these reflections guide you. Have a journal and write down your thoughts…
(3)Spend time with those who matter most:
Relationships come and go, but friends and family are often around for much, much longer. Your singleness is an opportunity to spend quality time with those in your life that matter the most to you. You don’t want to look back and regret not having spent enough time with someone when you had the chance.
Without a significant other, you don’t need to run things by another person before you jump in. Suppose you want to get a pet: no one is stopping you! (Except maybe your landlord, depending on your lease…) The point is, you can make snap decisions and enjoy them, because there’s no one there to consult. The only feelings that matter are your own!
(5)Ignore the negative comments:
In a society where being single is frowned at, you are bound to come across people who wonder why you’re single, They might even imply that something is “wrong” with you if you’re single. Brace yourself for that kind of ignorance. Remember that you don’t have to defend your right for being single, just like it’s rude to attack the validity of someone’s relationship. Just say “I prefer being single” and change the subject.
Reading is one of the best ways to entertain and educate yourself at the same time. We all give the same excuse: I wish I had the time to read more. Well, without a special someone in your life chewing up time, spend it instead with a good book. Better yet, some of the best relationships are the ones that you will forge with fictional characters.
(7)Study something new:
A perfect time to go back into college, do an online or a part time course, you might even want to at some point change your career.
Figure out what you are passionate about and go for it. There is no one to hold you back but yourself. Not sure what you are passionate about? Like I mentioned earlier spend more time alone. It will come to you. Give yourself a chance to listen to your inner voice. This process can take time and you really have to be patient with yourself.
Not necessarily for romantic reasons, just to expand your support community. If you are consciously attempting to stay out of relationships for a designated time period, you will still need people to share your life with. Friendships are paramount. Where would we be without our friends? Truly alone. No friends? Are you friendly? Do you make an effort to say hello and meet new people? Perhaps you need some help with overcoming shyness. It is always us that separates ourselves from others. Take responsibility for who you are or are not attracting into your life and make the necessary changes to attract some solid friends.
(9) Look after yourself exercise and eat right:
What a great way to get to know yourself again. Start with reconnecting with your body. It’s the only one you have this lifetime and we often look after our cars (which we can trade in) better than our bodies. Singlehood is the perfect time to get yourself in shape and the endorphins released when you work out keep your spirits flying high. Why not pick up an old team sport you used to play in school? Go to the gym, jog, cycle… Adopt a healthy eating habit… it’s a great way to stay in shape.
(10)Rediscover your creativity:
We all have the ability to create magnificence. You may have temporarily forgotten what you came here to create or what your passions are… but if you spend enough time alone you will rediscover your creative self. What a perfect opportunity to play when no one is watching! So take out those pencils, paints, clay, inventions, designs and let loose
(11)Be grateful for what you already have:
Each night before you go to sleep, concentrate on what you are grateful for in your life. Every tiny little thing can help create the spirit of gratitude. If you are so inclined start to write a journal about everything you are grateful for and watch the list get bigger and bigger each day as your gratitude attracts more things to be grateful for. This is probably the most important lesson of all, finding happiness in contentment in what already exists in your life. The fact that you have one is a really good place to start!
(12) Step out of your comfort zone.
Each week plan to go somewhere new, travel to a new country or do something different. Don’t wait until Mister or Miss Right is in your life to follow your dreams. Do it now. You have more chance of meeting your special someone if you are living your life to the fullest. Even if you don’t want to meet anyone you still will have a blast following your hearts desires.
Food for thought
Reflect on what you’ve learned from past relationships so future relationships get a better start. Don’t look for love until you have an open heart that is healed from past hurts.
Being single is a “lifestyle choice” and not a “default option.” It is possible to CHOOSE to be single. There are advantages and disadvantages to being single just as there are disadvantages and advantages to being married… All part of the fabric of life no status is “perfect” Whether one is married or single is nothing more than a lifestyle choice.
Till next time…