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Like the title says bullying never stopped in the playground or classroom, child bullies who never changed their ways became adult bullies

adultbully

What is bullying?

Bullying is a repeated verbal, physical, social or psychological aggressive behaviour by a person or group directed towards a less powerful person or group that is intended to cause harm, distress or fear.

There are different types of adult bullies

Conceited Adult Bully: This type of adult bully is egotistical and shows little or no mercy for others. They feel good when in control or when hurting people.

Imprudent Adult Bully: Adult bullies in this category lash out at their victims and have no emotional control e.g. emotional intelligence.

Somatic Bully: While an adult bully may not use physical abuse, he or she may threaten to hurt victims and destroy their belongings or property.

Verbal Adult Bully: Words are powerful and have a very strong effect on people. Verbal bullying can cause victims to lose interest in their lives in general and may even lead to depression.

Ancillary Adult Bully: These are people who ‘suck up’ to bullies and avert attention from themselves by helping bully others. Secondary bullies may feel guilty about their deeds but will let it go in view of saving themselves.

Scenarios where the different types of bullying are practiced:

Workplace bullying

newworkplacebully

Bullying in the work place happens when an employee experiences a persistent pattern of mistreatment from others in his or her place of work that causes harm. It can include most of the tactics mentioned above like verbal, nonverbal, psychological, physical abuse and humiliation.

Typical examples:

Being verbally abused by your boss and fellow colleague on a consistent basis.

Being picked on.

Receiving the “silent treatment” being ignored.

Being  deliberately passed over for a promotion.

Being excluded from on-the-job social events.

Colleagues refusing to assist when you ask for it.

Having co-workers spread lies about you that no one refutes.

Sexual harassment.

Customer bullying

customerbullying2

We do get the odd “difficult customers” who are repeatedly rude, threatening, rambling, abusive and demanding services out of the scope of what is expected.  People who own small business or are in customer service roles are the usual targets.  You are the first point of call for irate customers.  They rant and rave about their issues even become condescending and abusive… in a nutshell they become bullies… Standing by the motto “customer is always right” hence they feel they can treat you as they please.

Cyber bullying

cyberbullying

The internet, social media has opened a Pandora box of cyber bullying.

Cyber bullying in its simplest form takes place between two people through email, instant messaging, or phone texting and the internet. These platforms are used to directly or indirectly spite another deliberately and repeatedly in the form of defamatory pictures, demeaning messages, videos, rumours, or threats. Most of the time, the perpetrators behind the act are anonymous and are known as ‘trolls’.

Trolls is  like catching fish by trolling  a baited line in the water for a fish to bite In the same sense, the Internet troll tries to “catch” an unsuspecting victim to demean and humiliate. Trolls are an annoying problem for those who use the Internet regularly. They are present on social media and in the comments sections of various websites, articles, blogs, and other online forums.

Bullying in relationships and families

relationshipbully

This can take the form of emotional bullying this happens within the family/relationships and it is often excused. This could be in the form of the bully acting upset in some way until the target gives in their unreasonable demands. By getting upset the bully aims to make the target wrongly feel that they are the one who is being unreasonable and should therefore back down. A form of manipulation…

The upset may take many forms, such as crying, shouting, sulking, and martyrdom (unreasonably refusing all help) or self-harm. The bully is saying “I’m upset (or perhaps, more specifically, ‘you’ve upset me’) and I demand that you give me what I want in order to stop me being upset” which is effectively the adult equivalent of a two-year-old’s temper tantrum.

This behaviour is most commonly exhibited between family members as, to be successful, it requires that the target cares that the bully is upset, which is only going to be the case where there is a close relationship between the two parties. Emotional bullies usually moderate their behaviour (at least initially) with people they know less well.

Financial bullying

financial bully

Financial bullying can come in a variety of forms, including withholding money,using manipulative or forceful ways to get money, restricting access to certain accounts, and limiting spending.

Typical example:

People who are financial bullies in a relationship will force their partners to account for even small purchases by always asking to see receipts. In order to feel the power and control bullies crave, they also often threaten to leave knowing this would leave their partner in financial trouble.

Food for thought

Anybody can be a victim or a perpetrator most of us have bullied someone else  at some point in our lives either deliberately or without realising that the person felt bullied this post is just to create awareness to know whether it is happening to you or you are harming someone else. what is your side of the story?

Next week I will discuss the effects of adult  bullying

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